At times in our lives, God will prompt us to take a leap of faith in our walk with him. Though God prompts us to obey him courageously, we can be plagued by the fear and doubt that cloud our minds.
Kyle Rutkin has been a part of our community for over three years now. He serves on the coffee team every few weeks as well as creating the slides and promotional material you see every Sunday. This week, Kyle shares his experience with being obedient to God’s Spirit and his promptings during his time at Redemption. He shares how the power of prayer has affected his growth and how being obedient has lead him to where he is today.
Q: What drew you to Redemption?
A: I was pretty new to faith when I came to Redemption. My first event was an “all in”night that one of the leaders, Marc, invited me to. Honestly, I didn’t know it was a leadership event. At one point in the night, it got pretty intense and everyone started laying hands and praying over people. As someone new to faith, and not familiar with laying hands, I was a little overwhelmed. I was thinking, “wow, this is a lot,” and “I’m super uncomfortable with this.” But even though I was uncomfortable, I had a deep intuition that this community was going to be important to my spiritual growth. It was going to stretch me. Despite my fear, there was something that was pulling me toward what was going on in this community. God was drawing me closer to Him. After that, I knew Redemption was going to be my church home.
Q: Has this growth continued?
A: Yes, though it hasn’t always been easy. When I first started going to service, Phil would make a call for prayer and people would raise their hand around me. Once again, that initial fear and uncomfortable feeling would show itself. Yet part of me knew that the spirit was prompting me to get involved, to pray for somebody, to let God move in this space. Honestly, I tried to fight it. I tried to pretend that I wasn’t being prompted. But eventually, I couldn’t shake the feeling that God was asking me to move. So I started letting go. I started leaning in. I started putting my hands in and praying for people. And even though the voice of self-doubt and resistance would always show up, I didn’t let it hold me back. I would just go for it.
Q: Do you have any specific experiences you would like to share?
A: Recently, I felt the Spirit pulling me toward a couple in the room during a response time at service. At this point, I was getting comfortable praying for the people around me, or people asking for prayer, but this was a big, bold move. Not only because they weren’t asking for prayer, but because they were literally across the room. To make this happen, I had to walk around the entire congregation and tell them that I felt called to pray for them. It made me super uncomfortable. At first, I resisted the prompt. I was thinking, “God…This is crazy! Why do I have to do this?” But the call continued, and I knew what God was asking of me. So I decided to walk over and ask them if I could pray for them. I told them that they were on my heart and let them know that I loved them, that this community loved them, and that we wanted to be them for them during this season in their life.
Q: Did you feel like there was something specific on your heart when you approached them or did they need specific prayer?
A: No. Honestly, I had no idea what I was going to say when I got there. They were really receptive and thankful. Truthfully, I don’t know how it affected them but I knew I had to be obedient.
Q: That’s a cool experience. What did you learn from that?
A: During my time at Redemption, I’ve grown the most when I act boldly—When I surrender. When I allow myself to be uncomfortable and stop letting my small thoughts take control. And during these moments when I step out in courage, I have no choice but to let God take the reigns. Because it’s no longer “me” doing the work. It’s God working through me. And in that space, he allows me to shine my light to the fullest. It’s been a huge progression since the “all in” event to now. It has been cool to see how he uses me to be a help to others.
Q: What do you think helped you break the uncomfortable feelings?
A: I think Redemption is really good at putting you in spaces where you have to make bold decisions. And the more you come, the more you start recognizing fear in those moments of response. This community is really good at letting the Spirit move in these spaces. For me, it took practice. It still takes a lot of practice and diligence. But once you take the first step, it gets a little easier to take the second step and so on and so forth. But it’s still hard to act on that initial call.
Q: Any other words of encouragement for those in that uncomfortable place?
A: Be courageous. Lean in. We usually know when the Spirit is prompting us. But if you don’t act right away, it’s easy to talk yourself out of something. From my experience, I think God just wants us to take that first step. He will take care of the rest. I also think that the more you show up, the more chances you’ll have to act courageously. Honestly, there are still many times when I let fear and self-doubt get the best of me. Just a few weeks ago I was prompted during service and I didn’t respond. Luckily, I know that I’ll have another chance. And another. And another. As long as I show up. And each time, I have a choice to be bold.